It’s never easy to end a friendship, but it can be extra hard when it’s with one of your closest friends.


About 3 years ago, I still remember the day I came to the conclusion that one of my best friends had chosen to save her relationship with her partner over our friendship. Without her, I felt adrift and as like a piece of myself was missing.

Our friendship, which started back 21 years ago was unshakeable, at least that’s what I thought. We were there for each other through all of life’s ups and downs and shared almost everything. We grew up together (friends since HS). We traveled together (here and abroad). We shared tears of joy and laughter while creating lifelong memories. But everything changed when she met her partner.

I was really supportive of my friend when she told me that she is now in a relationship. I welcomed her partner into our little circle with open arms. However, as time went on, it became clear that her partner was becoming increasingly jealous of our bond and my friend was caught in the middle. I knew at that time that it was ultimately my best friend’s decision to sort of end our friendship to save her relationship, but it still hurt.

There were no dramatic goodbyes. We just had a long talk about what was happening at that time and at the end of the conversation we both knew that the friendship just ended, just like that. I was sad, I was lost, and I was a mess after that talk. I was feeling all sorts of things, it felt like we broke up with each other but we were never really lovers, to begin with.

As days turned to months, and months turned to years, I come to understand the importance of self-care.  Surrounding myself with people who bring positivity and people who choose to be present in my life.

Though the pain still lingers, I hold on to the lessons and personal growth that came from our friendship. I will always be grateful to the person my best friend once was, even though our friendship wasn’t meant to last forever.

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